Letters From A Tory Daily views on British politics and the Conservative Party from a centre-right thinker who writes letters on his blog to politicians, journalists and many others.

“The Government has been massively subsidising trade unions with taxpayers’ money for years, now it’s coming back to haunt them with Unite’s strike hitting ordinary British travellers.”
- Conservative MP Greg Hands, after it emerged that the trade union behind the British Airways strike has received almost £400,000 in taxpayers’ money in three years.  Unite is accused [...]

From the Telegraph:
MPs have demanded the right to first class train travel in a move that threatens to reignite the expenses row. They say they need the perk in order to be able to work during journeys to and from Parliament. One MP even said he needed a first class seat because of his height.  [...]

“They are a totally different type of people.”
- retiring Conservative MP Sir Nicholas Winterton, explaining why he does not wish to travel in standard class as an MP.  Sir Nicholas, an MP since 1971, told BBC Radio 5 live that he had never received any complaints from constituents about travelling first class.  “Members of Parliament work extremely [...]

“The terrorists have won.”
- Alex Deane, barrister and director of campaign group Big Brother Watch, responding to the news that passengers using Heathrow and Manchester airports have been told that they will no longer be allowed to board their flights if they refuse to submit to full-body scans.  The advanced imaging technology (AIT) scanners went into operation [...]

“I was just completely gobsmacked. I honestly thought someone was going to run out with a camera.”
- motorist Michael Mancini, after he was fined by police for blowing his nose while at a standstill in traffic.  Mancini was given a £60 fixed penalty notice after a policeman decided he was “not in control of his [...]

“Robin Hood airport is closed. You’ve got a week and a bit to get your shit together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!!”
- a ‘tweet’ from Paul Chambers, 26, when heavy snowfall recently threatened to scupper his travel plans.  Unfortunately for Mr Chambers, the police didn’t see the funny side. A week after posting the [...]

Dear readers,
I’m sure you, like me, were spitting fire when you heard about Harriet Harman being fined £350 and getting three points on her license after pleading guilty to driving without due care and attention.  Sadly, the charges of failing to report an accident and not leaving her details at the scence of the accident were irrelevant because she [...]

“You will have a hard job convincing motorists this is anything other than a stealth tax to shore up a creaking system strapped for cash.”
- Professor Stephen Glaister, director of the RAC Foundation, speaking after it was announced that motorists in England and Wales fined for minor offences now face having to pay bigger penalties [...]

“strong sense of colour and different sense of distance”
- the attributes possessed by women according to Wang Zheng, an official at the Wanxiang Tiancheng shopping centre in China, to explain why they have opened a car park that offers women drivers bigger-than-normal parking spaces to accommodate what it sees as their special needs.  The spaces are [...]

“It was the amount of snow, which was higher than we experienced before, it was lighter than normal, fluffier, and the temperature inside the tunnel and the humidity was higher than normal.”
- Nick Mercer, Eurostar’s commercial director, confirming that their recent problems – which culminated in a three-day shutdown – were in fact caused by [...]

“I don’t think that feminism or the cause of women is in any way set back by these findings. It only proves what previous studies about the spatial differences between men and women have shown. Besides, it is not as if there was a massive failing by women. It is just about parking – not [...]

Dear Libertarian Alliance,
The description that you give for yourselves as ”the radical free market and civil liberties think tank and pressure group” sounds relatively harmless, but in my humble opinion it might need changing as it doesn’t quite convey your utter stupidity to the outside world.  Yesterday, you sent out a press release calling on the [...]

Dear Harriet Harman,
Despite the Guardian and BBC’s best efforts to bury the story, the news that you are to be prosecuted over a minor car accident in your south London constituency is to be welcomed.  Even so, I have this bizarre sense of sympathy for you all the same.
You face prosecution for allegedly driving without due care [...]

“He is really out of touch if he thinks it will popular to alert people to the fact they have just made a cash contribution to the EU every time they go shopping.”
- Nigel Farage, UKIP leader, reacting to the news that all shopping and petrol station receipts in Britain could in future include the [...]

“If you have a serious problem abroad — maybe you’ve been involved in an accident, have lost your passport or are a victim of crime — we can help you. But we can’t tell you who is allowed to use your swimming pool, pay your taxi fares for you or do anything about the exchange rate.”
- [...]

“Berlin to Warsaw in one tank”
- slogan on a car advertisement featuring Jeremy Clarkson, which has led to complaints and an official investigation

“They were dressed like nuns, carrying crosses, but wearing thongs under their skirts and showing people their bottoms and the rest”
- a police official, describing the attire of 17 British men who stood trial dressed in nun’s habits on the Greek island of Crete for flashing their bottoms in public, but walked free after no [...]

“It is amazing where you can get with a bus pass these days”
- Sir Ranulph Fiennes, 65, after conquering Everest

“We have a strict baggage allowance on all our flights and this bear was not a small bear”
- an Easyjet spokesman, responding to a mother who criticised Easyjet for stopping her 6-year-old daughter taking her teddy bear on a flight because it was classed as “excess baggage”.   Alba Aprciado-Peris was told by a check-in worker that [...]

“It is unnecessary interference from a public authority in Mrs Bear’s private life that is in breach of her human rights.”
- Mike Barratt, of the UK Deed Poll Service, criticising the decision by the Identity & Passport Service to refuse a new passport to a mother who raised £4,000 for Children In Need by altering her name [...]

“The latest proposed version of the blouse did not receive negative feedback during the wearer trials.”
- a spokesman for National Express, discussing the trials of the new uniforms being given to staff after the company took over the East Coast Main Line from GNER in December 2007. Female staff on National Express trains between London [...]

“CAUTION! ZOMBIES AHEAD!”
- a message displayed by pranksters, who have figured out how to alter the text on electronic road signs in three US states which now display joke messages instead of detailing traffic problems.  The latest breach came on Tuesday during the morning rush hour near Collinsville, Illinois, where hackers changed a sign along Interstate [...]

“Really, all he has to do is press a button and the plane flies itself.  The worst that could happen is he’ll trip over something in the cockpit.”
- a representative of Aeroflot, the Russian airline, telling passengers that it wasn’t a big deal if the pilot was drunk.  After ten hours of waiting for the flight from Moscow [...]

I wonder what you’d do if you suddenly found yourself caught up in this on the way to work….

(in case you were wondering, this really happened at 11am on Thursday 15th January 2009 in Liverpool Street station, London)