Letters From A Tory Daily views on British politics and the Conservative Party from a centre-right thinker who writes letters on his blog to politicians, journalists and many others.

“It seems the Private Eye’s circulation figures are a bit like John Terry’s shorts. In the past they may have been down, now they are firmly up again.”
- Ian Hislop, editor of Private Eye, on the paper’s improved sales figures

“Despite the risks of high speed air travel Santa is never depicted wearing a seatbelt or a helmet.”
- Dr Nathan Grills and illustrator Brendan Halyday, from Monash University in Australia, who declared in the British Medical Journal that the image of a fat, jolly and slightly tipsy Father Christmas sends out the wrong message and could [...]

From the BBC:
Lawyers for US golfer Tiger Woods have obtained a UK injunction preventing certain information purportedly about him being published. The order was granted by a judge at the High Court in London, and concerns alleged information which cannot be disclosed for legal reasons. Last week Woods apologised to his family for “personal sins”. [...]

“Tiger hunting”
- the cruel sport practised in India that is causing a decline in the local tiger population a new internet game which challenges players to direct Tiger Woods’s car while his wife Elin runs behind with a golf club.  The objective is to score points by collecting golf club bags and trophies, and avoid [...]

From everyone’s favourite paper, The Sun:

“Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.”
- the joke ranked number one in the list of top 10 jokes about Tiger Woods in The Times today regarding his infamous car crash in which he drove into a fire hydrant before hitting a tree.  Rumour has it that [...]

Dear News of the World and the Daily Mail,
There is a part of me that expects such low standards from both of you that I shouldn’t really be surprised when your behaviour appalls me.  That said, I’m not so much surprised as I am disgusted at your apology to the England football manager Fabio Capello and his wife [...]

“It is clear that she is a woman but maybe not 100 per cent.”
- Pierre Weiss, general secretary of the IAAF (the world atheletics governing body), responding to the claim that sex tests carried out on Caster Semenya, the female world 800 metres champion, show that she is a hermaphrodite.  If the allegation is backed [...]

“An unsavoury character could have come in and we just can’t put the children in the event or the students at the host school at risk like that.  The ultimate fear is that a child is hurt or abuducted, and we must take all measures possible to prevent that.”
- Paul Blunt, development manager at the [...]

H/T Dick Puddlecote

Dear readers,
Did you know there were in fact two rugby world cup finals being played last night? Click on the picture below for the full graphic.

Dear readers,
Does anyone know what odds are being offered on England failing to qualify for Euro 2008 plus England losing the Rugby World Cup Final plus Lewis Hamilton failing to win the Formula One World Championship?
With some concern,
A.Tory

Dear Jose Mourinho,
I was quite surprised to hear of your resignation as manager of Chelsea this morning, but the more I think about it the less surprising it seems.  Your relationship with Roman Abramovich has obviously been in a poor state for many months and this season hasn’t got off to a flyer (although you’re [...]