Letters From A Tory Daily views on British politics and the Conservative Party from a centre-right thinker who writes letters on his blog to politicians, journalists and many others.

So very true.  Hope you get more presents from Santa than Gordon will this year.
Best wishes
A.Tory

“O=11xC/L+5xQ”
- the formula devised by British researchers which they claim is the perfect method of pulling crackers to avoid disappointment at the Christmas dinner table.   Diners are guaranteed success if they follow the formula, which is based on the angle, grip and quality of the cracker.  You must first multiply the circumference of the cracker in [...]

“Santa needs to pay his elves.”
- what the man who robbed SunTrust Bank in Nashville, USA, said to staff and customers as he fled. According to witnesses, the bank clerk had asked the robber to remove his sunglasses but he refused, reached into his sack and pulled out his gun.  He demanded money and told staff [...]

“Despite the risks of high speed air travel Santa is never depicted wearing a seatbelt or a helmet.”
- Dr Nathan Grills and illustrator Brendan Halyday, from Monash University in Australia, who declared in the British Medical Journal that the image of a fat, jolly and slightly tipsy Father Christmas sends out the wrong message and could [...]

“SANTA loves all kids. Even GINGER ones”
- the message inside a Tesco’s Christmas card, showing a red-head being bounced on Santa’s knee.  The card has now been withdrawn after parents branded the card as “discrimination” and said that they were disgusted with it.  A spokesman for Tesco said: “We sell a large range of Christmas cards including some [...]

Even though I joked on Christmas Day about putting your unwanted presents on eBay, I didn’t expect eBay to become the new home for Woolworths!

And on a slightly cheerier note, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas day. 
If you are unfortunate enough to receive any useless or pointless presents, try to remember that it’s the thought that counts! (and there’s always eBay…..)
Take care
A.Tory

Although some people seem to have forgotten this, Christmas is historically a Christian festival.  As a result, it always brings a warm fuzzy glow to my heart when this time of year is filled to the brim with Christians really putting that whole ‘love thy neighbour’ thing into practice.

“Jesus wasn’t hermaphrodite, neither was he a girl.”
- Steve Goddard, co-editor of the Christian website Ship of Fools, responding to a reader’s comment about the possibility of changing the well-known refrain of O Come All Ye Faithful – “O come let us adore Him” – to “O come in adoration” for fear that the original was [...]

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million. At an average of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, [...]

… here is something that always makes me laugh.  Put the volume up and enjoy this classic clip from South Park.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfr_LOZCZpQ]

I always assumed that most people enjoyed seeing Santa Claus around town when they do their Christmas shopping, which goes some way to explaining why I didn’t realise that his work sometimes entails negotiating a hail of bullets.