Letters From A Tory Daily views on British politics and the Conservative Party from a centre-right thinker who writes letters on his blog to politicians, journalists and many others.

Dear Boris,
As the Unite/Labour/Charlie Whelan ’axis of evil’ continues to dominate the headlines, I was rather surprised to see you getting stuck into this incredibly delicate situation.  While David Cameron is certainly enjoying poking fun at Gordon Brown for being at the mercy of Unite, I thought it would be prudent for you to keep a [...]

“If Gordon Brown is on course to win the next election, then Elvis Presley is on course to win The X Factor and Shergar to win the Grand National”
- London’s Mayor Boris Johnson

”anything but a prime example of British style”
- how the GQ Award for the worst-dressed man of the year described their winner for 2009, Gordon Brown.  He is joined in the list of worst-dressed men by one of his ”best friends”, French president Nicolas Sarkozy, in third place, and North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il in [...]

“La vendetta è un piatto che va mangiato freddo”
- the text message sent by Nick Boles, one of David Cameron’s aides, to Boris Johnson on the day that Boris returned to London after the Conservative Party conference.  The message – a classic Mafia threat - translates as “Revenge is a dish best eaten cold” and refers to Boles’ [...]

“Sending Boris Johnson to plead for the City in Brussels last week was like sending a devout atheist to the Vatican to ask the Pope to change his line on birth control”
- Labour MP and former Europe Minister Denis MacShane, urging Britain to join the euro

Dear Rob Davies,
As a spokesman for Canterbury council, I’m sure you were delighted with the ruling of Local Government Ombudsman last week.  After a complaint from local gay rights activists that sparked a two-month investigation costing thousands of pounds, the council were told that it is ’sufficiently gay’ as it does enough to promote homosexual culture.  While [...]

“Labour MPs despair of Gordon Brown. They recognise that he is leading his party to something like annihilation at the next election. They know that no party leader can realistically recover from the blows he has sustained over the past few weeks, and they know that if Gordon remains in office, his last months will [...]

Dear Boris Johnson,
Now that you have entered your second year as London Mayor, your performance will come under even greater scrutiny.  However, it is your stance on free speech which merits as much attention as anything that you have achieved thus far as Mayor.  As you rightly said in your Sunday Telegraph column, the idea [...]

“For the really rich people, the effect of the 50p rate will simply be another challenge for their tax accountants”
- Boris Johnson on the Chancellor’s new tax

“Sir Fred Goodwin has become the epitome of the bankers who collectively occupy a place in public opinion significantly lower than cannibalistic paedophile global-warming deniers”
- Boris Johnson

“I’m not saying that I can see the green shoots of recovery but there is a risk of us all starting to sound like a millennialist suicide cult”
- Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, on the economic crisis

“He is like some sherry-crazed old dowager who has lost the family silver at roulette, and who now decides to double up by betting the house as well. He is like a drunk who has woken to the most appalling hangover, and who reaches for the whisky bottle to help him dull the pain. And the [...]

“It was one of the very greatest American presidents, Theodore Roosevelt, who said the duty of America abroad was to “speak softly but carry a big stick”. George Bush forgot the ’speak softly’ bit. But Obama needs to remember the vital importance of continuing to carry a big stick.”
- Boris Johnson, who discusses the new [...]

Dear Boris Johnson,
Perhaps being Mayor isn’t as much fun as it looked in the papers.  I cannot believe that you are genuinely enjoying the coverage you have received, particularly after three high-profile resignations within three months of taking office.  The latest to go is Tim Parker, appointed as your first deputy mayor with a brief to [...]

“All this came to me in a flash as I opened the fridge. …It would be easier for me to lose weight than it would for Labour to lose Gordon”
- Boris Johnson in today’s Telegraph

Dear Boris Johnson,
In light of the remarks made yesterday about you, I sincerely hope that you can remain calm and collected and resist the temptation to get drawn into the dispicable kind of electioneering that Ken Leavingsoon is throwing at you.  His personal remarks were shocking and distasteful but you cannot afford to retaliate.
The word [...]

“He has repeatedly said he is directly responsible for the actions of his advisers and he should take Jasper’s place and answer the questions that Jasper won’t. Otherwise Londoners can only conclude he is arrogant and out of touch. Londoners deserve to know where their hard-earned cash has gone.”
- Boris Johnson’s comments to Ken Livingstone, [...]

Dear Boris Johnson,
I hope yesterday was the start of things to come.  Crime is a serious issue in London and the fear of crime that has gone through the roof under Ken LeavingSoon is making life a misery for many Londoners.
More British Transport police officers is a very sensible suggestion, seeing as people should feel safe [...]

“If it’s a hair transplant, then it’s one that took place entirely without my knowledge”
- Boris Johnson MP, in response to a questioner suspicious about his famous unruly straw mop

Dear Boris Johnson,
Whilst you had a clear theme to your Telegraph article this morning, you also scared the life out of me.  Never before have I seen the word ‘caterpillar’ used in a newspaper when discussing political matters, and your analogy of two giant hairy caterpillars mating has ensured that I will never look at [...]