Haltemprice and Howden looks harsh compared to Henley
Dear David Davis,
I fear that the worst is yet to come. After the Conservatives put in a wonderful performance in Henley yesterday, your own by-election could undo some of the good work put in recently against Labour and the Lib Dems. I had the dubious pleasure of reading through the list of candidates that you will be fighting against in the absence of significant opposition and it doesn’t make for good reading. The political heavyweights that you will be fighting it out against include:
- David Laurence Bishop – Church of the Militant Elvis Party (oh dear)
- Ronnie Carroll – Make Politicians History (says by-election candidate)
- Mad Cow-Girl – The Official Monster Raving Loony Party (what a surprise, I’d never have guessed)
- Herbert Winford Crossman – Independent (what a ridiculous name)
- Tess Culnane – National Front Britain for the British (not the catchiest party name, is it)
- Eamonn “Fitzy” Fitzpatrick – Independent (lame nickname)
- Gemma Dawn Garrett – Miss Great Britain Party (commands respect)
- George Hargreaves – Christian Party (whatever)
- Hamish Howitt – Freedom 4 Choice (sound familiar, David?)
- Shan Oakes – Green Party (they just won’t go away)
- David Pinder – The New Party (the what?)
- Joanne Robinson – English Democrats: Putting England First (I’m sure they do, but no-one listens to them)
- Walter Edward Sweeney – Independent (another cracking name)
- Christopher John Talbot – Socialist Equality Party (lame party name, lame party no doubt)
I am happy to predict a sweeping victory for you in this by-election. My concern is that Labour have robbed you of the political oxygen that you need to make an impact as a civil liberties campaigner. That is not to say you cannot have an impact on this matter from the backbenches for many years to come but your desire to fight it out with Labour in front of the cameras will probably not come to pass. They chose short-term pain over long-term humiliation when they decided not to field a candidate against you – and it looks like it might have worked.
Yours sincerely,
A.Tory
Witanagemot Blogs
Don’t you remember the New Party? They are the neocon sect that have knuckledraggers like Stuart Dimmock (he of An Inconvenient Truth) as members. They appeal to some of the more intellectually limited members of the Tory right, whatever the “liberal conservatives” might want you to think…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_Party_%28UK%29
Nope, never heard of them. What a stupid name as well. If they’d called themselves ‘neocon knuckledraggers’ then at least I’d remember them.
The Socialist Equality Party appear to be named after an oxymoron… (as I, self-promoting as always, may have mentioned on my own blog…)
Otherwise, David Davis seems to be doing alright about keeping the populace on his side, despite the silliness of the whole campaign.
Next time there’s a crazy by-election we should put up a ‘UK Bloggers Party’ candidate with a wiki manifesto. You never know, we might get some good ideas going.
Sounds good, although it might be a little tricky raising election funds.
“If they’d called themselves ‘neocon knuckledraggers’ then at least I’d remember them.”
If they don’t use it, it’d be a fabulous name for a band!
Challenge Miss GB to a debate , I guarantee a full house and the telly too . Be gentlemanly but get your points made and as she will be up for the publicity it need not be a car crash.
Naturally swim suit s will be worn.
I’m not wearing swimming trunks on national TV as it would be horribly ironic to upset so many people during a debate on civil liberties.
Of course an earlier political grouping to bear the name ‘New Party’ was Oswald Mosley’s first movement after he left the Labour Party but before the formation of the BUF.
Labour defection to fascists – It’s Henley all over again!