Now, I do not mean singles who are because of unfortunate choices, they are because of a divorce caused by the other party, or they are widowed…I mean these wealthier, yet snobbier single women (usually single women) who refuse to have a husband or who hire nannies to raise their children instead of having a husband and sharing the raising of the child(ren).

Looking at parenting in such a black and white view can distract from the real problem – which is normally the case.

If a child needs role models, which all children do, what does it matter the sexuality of that role model?

I agree that gay adoption is a very different issue from something like lesbian IVF couples, and same-sex marriages are another issue entirely. In my defence, it would take me ages to explain my views in detail on everything to do with gay and lesbian couples, marriages and families!

In general, however, I have no problem with the concept of same-sex parents, though I would take a step back when it means turning to options past adoption.

Building upon a point Candid made about growing up without knowing the gender differences, I actually agree in some respects, but don’t think that it’s a particularly good argument against same sex marriages. I have always felt like I was struggling to connect myself with normal people because, in a shamelessly arrogant manner I have always felt much more intelligent then those around me. Having been raised without a steady father figure on top of this, I have never really felt that I associate with conventional male behavior at all. It is true, too, that as far as British young males go, I am a fairly effeminate one, but I do not consider myself particularly ‘girly’ in any respect.

The aspects of my personality that most would consider effeminate are ones I personally just consider signs of a balanced personality. I am quite sensitive, mature when I need to be, quite compulsive about cleanliness. Awkward gender stereotypes that really shouldn’t be, because they aren’t something we should be attaching a negative connotation with.

I do believe that if I had a father figure in my earlier life I would have been an entirely different person. I was bullied enthusiastically at school all the way through to university, but I would not go back and decide that I would rather have my father there so that I was able to accommodate myself into a person who wouldn’t be, because I feel like my development (including the bullying) has led to who I am. I look at other people who came up from conventional family units, who led what you could call ‘normal’ childhoods and I just think ‘boring’.

I am much more capable then most of my friends and I do not feel like my life has been ruined from not growing up in what you believe to be the best environment, in fact I’m pretty positive I’ve gained more as a person from the one I got.

Being a ‘Butch Mummy’s girl’ rather than a ‘Daddy’s Girl’ is just not quite right. I think its good for children to have a balance and be able to see the world from a males’ and females’ way of thinking – which is, let’s face it, very different.

This also leads children to grow up knowing the gender differences and therefore being able to form friendship and relationship bonds. Just think how screwed up some kids become after leaving a same-sex school and suddenly find members of the other sex.

It is not healthy for children to be brought up in a mono-sex or mono-culture background.

A wide range of literature shows that judges are discriminatory in awarding custody and that an assumption is made that generally children will stay with the mother unless there clear evidence that this would be bad for the child. I’m not sure about discriminatory but it is certainly something thats based on societys norms rather than evidence provided that is relevant to the case.

Madeley, the evidence always provides a mixed bag. Some studies say that children with same-sex parents are more likely to be bullied and harrassed at school in addition to being more likely to be gay themselves, whereas other studies do not reach the same conclusion. More importantly, the majority of studies in this area are very poor. For example, they frequently rely on studying same-sex parents who volunteered to take part (which is a joke in research terms), they are often very small-scale and they tend to just look at young children. The age of the children is critical because identity formation and social development rapidly come to the fore in adolescence but the research often ignores this. To cut a long story short, I don’t pretend to be an expert but I’ve seen enough to make me very concerned about the effect of same-sex parents on children’s development.